A belated anniversary update--

My sweet husband took me out to lunch at Olive Garden which is a favorite dining spot of mine. It was a nice leisurely lunch where we enjoyed a quiet meal with good food and good conversation. Our waitress was a young woman who commented that she was engaged to be married. She was very happy and couldn't wait for the BIG day. We congratulated her and mentioned that we were there celebrating our twentieth wedding anniversary. She in turn congratulated us and then asked us for advise for keeping a long and happy marriage. We told her that it was very important to have open communication with each other in all things. We said that even if your hurt, angry or whatever your feeling, it's important to talk things out with each other. Never push anything down, keeping it bottled up. That's one of the worst things you can do. It's not fair to you or your spouse! She thanked us and said that she would remember it when the time came. In after thought, I wish I would have asked her if she was a Believer. I feel bad that I didn't mention to always pray before addressing her mate with a concern or problem.

I have recently been reading the book called 'Rekindling the Romance' by Dennis and Barbara Rainey. In chapter six, Dennis addresses the importance of real communication with your spouse. He directs the following to the husband:

One of the most powerful principles for romance that any man could apply to his marriage is: Words spoken face-to-face, heart-to-heart, to your wife are powerful. If you want to touch your wife deeply, do what Solomon did. Look into her soul through her eyes. She's longing for that kind of intimate conversation...

...one of her top romantic needs is to be heard and understood by her man. She longs for an openness, a sharing of dreams, hopes, desires, and even disappointments through focused conversation."

Sharing worries, failures and dreams draws her into the interior of your life. Many women don't feel needed by their husbands because they are rarely invited "inside"... When a wife is left on the outside looking in, she feels like a mere acquaintance. This is why connecting conversationally is essential to romancing your wife.

After dessert, my husband brought me home to an unexpected surprise. He had been thoughtfully planning a special gift for me. Prior to our anniversary he had done some research on what the traditional gift to give for twenty years of marriage. After finding out that china was the thing to give, he went to the store on a mission. Now this is something special for my husband because, as a general rule, he doesn't particularly enjoy shopping. (unless it's for tools of course:) After several trips to various stores, he settled on a simple and yet lovely design of white china with a silver plated edge. He somehow managed to sneak it into the house w/o my knowledge and gave it to my daughter to hide in her closet. Just before he took me to lunch he gave the kids specific instructions as to what he wanted them to do to get things ready for me when we returned home.

Upon our return, I noticed as we were pulling up to the house that the blinds in the kitchen were closed. I wondered why and mentioned it to my husband, but he said nothing. I never imagined that a surprise was awaiting me. Once inside the kitchen I saw it right away. The kids were there with cameras in hand to catch my surprised and excited expressions. They had arranged it all so nicely there on the table for me! The china set (for two), tea and cookies, a vase of three long stem roses and a framed poem that my husband had written, just for me.

The poem:

I met a girl in eighty-five
She made my soul come alive
A match made in heaven
The girl and I wed in eighty-seven

We said ‘I DO’ and became one
And in ninety we had a son
Our family grew again in ninety-one
This time a 'bear' who weighed a ton
Our adventures it seemed had only just begun
And they weren’t always filled with fun

In ninety-four we opened the door
To a baby girl, and my wife said no more
The girl and I who had become one
Are a family of five and are done
Hardships come with such a clan
But they teach you to have a plan

Ups and downs are a part of life
Especially when you take a wife
The key is to love each other without fear
This will save many a tear
And carry you throughout the year

It’s now been twenty years since we wed
And though some thought it wouldn’t last
And some said he’s out of his head
I wouldn’t change one thing of our past
Really, its been a blast and gone so fast
So honestly and from my heart
Without my girl, there is no doubt
My heart would die and never start

So the calendar states twenty years
The mind reads seventy-three hundred days
Yet the heart doesn’t keep track of time
For when it comes to love it says always

Some measure success by wealth and fame
Some measure it by your family name
I measure success by a love that’s shared
Through thick and thin and when laid bare
Are our hearts alive? Is our love still there?
Yes! Now that’s success, that’s wealth, and true fame!

No one can deny I am a blessed man
To have such a devoted and loving wife
I am ever grateful for this precious gift from God
That has and will last me all my life

In fact I praise the Lord with all my soul
For giving my girl and I such love, happiness, and security
Our match was surely made in heaven
Twenty years now, going on eternity!

Happy Twentieth Anniversary My Love